Definition of a Kiss
Prof. of Economics
Kiss is that thing for which the demand is aways higher than the supply.
Prof. of Accountancy
Kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.
Prof. of Algebra
Kiss is infinity because two divided by nothing.
Prof. of Geometry
Kiss is the shortest distance between two lips.
Prof. of Physics
Kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.
Prof. of Chemistry
Kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.
Prof. of Physiology
Kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularisoris muscles in the state of contraction.
Prof. of Dentistry
Kiss is infectious and antiseptic.
Prof. of Philosophy
Kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.
Prof. of Comp.Science
What is a kiss? It seems to be an undefined variable!
Prof. of English
Kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction, it is more common than proper, it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.
Prof. of Architecture
Kiss is a process which builds a solid bond between the two dynamic objects.
16.10.07
Definition of a Kiss
3.10.07
BRAIN DAMAGING HABITS
BRAIN DAMAGING HABITS
1. No Breakfast
People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood sugar level.
This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain causing brain
degeneration.
2. Overeating
It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to a decrease in mental power.
3. Smoking
It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to Alzheimer disease.
4. High Sugar consumption
Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of proteins and nutrients
causingmalnutrition and may interfere with brain development
5. Air Pollution
The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our body. Inhaling polluted air
decreases the supply of oxygen to the brain, bringing about a decrease in brain
efficiency.
6. Sleep Deprivation
Sleep allows our brain to rest. Long term deprivation from sleep will
accelerate the death of brain cells.
7. Head covered while sleeping
Sleeping with the head covered, increases the concentration of carbon dioxide
and decrease concentration of oxygen that may lead to brain damaging effects.
8. Working your brain during illness
Working hard or studying with sickness may lead to a decrease in effectiveness
of the brain as well as damage the brain.
9. Lacking in stimulating thoughts
Thinking is the best way to train our brain, lacking in brain stimulation
thoughts may cause brain shrinkage.
10. Talking RarelyIntellectual conversations will promote the efficiency of the brain
The main causes of liver damage are:
1. Sleeping too late and waking up too late are main cause.
2. Not urinating in the morning.
3. Too much eating.
4. Skipping breakfast.
5. Consuming too much medication.
6. Consuming too much preservatives, additives, food coloring , and artificial
sweetener.
7. Consuming unhealthy cooking oil. As much as possible reduce cooking oil use
when frying, which includes even the best cooking oils like olive oil. Do not
consume fried foods when you are tired, except if the body is very fit.
8. Consuming raw (overly done) foods also add to the burden of liver. Veggies
should be eaten raw or cooked 3-5 parts. Fried veggies should be finished in
one sitting, do not store.
9. Working more than 8 hours in office.
We should prevent this without necessarily spending more. We just have to adopt
a good daily lifestyle and eating habits. Maintaining good eating habits and
time condition are very important for our bodies to absorb and get rid of
unnecessary chemicals according to "schedule."
Because :
Evening at 9 - 11 PM : is the time
for eliminating unnecessary/toxic chemicals (detoxification) from the
antibody system (lymph nodes). This time duration should be spent by relaxing
or listening to music. If during this time a housewife is still in an unrelaxed
state such as washing the dishes or monitoring children doing their homework,
this will have a negative impact on health.
Evening at 11pm - 1 am : is the
detoxification process in the liver, and ideally should be done in a deep sleep
state.
Early morning 1 - 3 am :
detoxification process in the gall, also ideally done in a deep sleep state.
Early morning 3 - 5 am :
detoxification in the lungs. Therefore there will sometimes be a severe cough
for cough sufferers during this time. Since the detoxification process
had reached the respiratory tract, there is no need to take cough medicine so
as not to interfere with toxin removal process.
Morning 5 - 7am : detoxification
in the colon, you should empty your bowel.
Morning 7 - 9 am : absorption of
nutrients in the small intestine, you should be having breakfast at this
time.Breakfast should be earlier, before 6:30 am , for those who are
sick. Breakfast before 7:30 am is very beneficial to those wanting to
stay fit. Those who always skip breakfast, they should change their habits, and
it is still better to eat breakfast late until 9 - 10 am rather than no meal at all.
Sleeping so late and waking up too late will disrupt the process of removing
unnecessary chemicals. Aside from that, midnight to 4:00 am is the time when
the bone marrow produces blood. Therefore, have a good sleep and don't sleep
late.
DO TAKE CARE ABOUT YOUR HEALTH.....
AND PASS THIS TO ALL WHOM YOU CARE
5.9.07
TVS Launches NEW Auto Rickshaw
Forget Mercedes... Forget Ford... Check this out...
Who is going to buy a car? When you get an auto rickshaw like this?
3.9.07
Bow Bow Biriyaani
src http://thatskannada.oneindia.in/news/2007/09/03/case-against-stray-dog-killing.html
15.7.07
25.5.07
Amazing talks with tele marketers
How often do you get a call and hear a lilting voice say, "Hi! I am Pooja calling from XYZ bank. Sir, we are offering free platinum credit card to our customers. Are you interested?" (uttered in a single breath) And you think, "Oh no, not again!" You politely (or rudely) reply, "Sorry, I am not interested." And the conversation ends there. But imagine a reply that frustrates the caller with your witty response. I have some cool ideas for making these unsolicited calls a pleasant experience. My friends and I have applied these ideas and we have derived immense pleasure from such pranks. We have frustrated them more than the other way round.
First caller:
Girl: Hello Sir, this is Sneha calling from Country Club.
Me: Hi Sneha!
Girl: Sir, we are offering life time Country Club membership for Rs.1.5 lakh only!
Me: Wow, what an offer! Only 1.5 lakh! How come so cheap?
Girl: Sir, I am not joking (with a chuckle).
Me: Neither me. You know, one of my friends already has Club Mahindra membership at Rs.1.5 lakh per year. Do you have any concession on group booking? I think we have around 8 people in my team.
Girl: Sir, along with this, you will get 2 air tickets to Goa absolutely free!
Me: Free? I mean after becoming a member, isn't it?
Girl: We are also offering 8/6 site in Tumkur.
Me: What should I do with that site?
Girl: You know Sir, if you have more people in your group, you can have a farm house there …
Me: … where we can enjoy our retired life (continuing from where she left)
Girl: I am not joking, Sir!
Me: Who said that you are joking? Seriously Madam, I am serious. (can't control my loud laughter this time)
Girl: Ok Sir, I think you are not interested.
And she hangs up.
Second caller:
Girl: Hi Sir, this is Pooja calling from ICICI Bank.
Me: Oh, Pooja, nice to hear your voice!
Girl: (amused by reaction) Sir, we are offering home loans for 12% interest.
Me: Oh, is that so? It's good, but I have an offer from another bank which is giving home loan for only 2% interest!
Girl: Only 2% interest?
Me: Yeah, it's only 2%, seriously.
Girl: Which bank, Sir? I do not think any bank is offering at this interest rate.
Me: (lowering my voice) I can't tell you, you know it's a private bank!
Girl: No Sir, it's not possible. If that's the case, then, I'm also interested.
Me: If you want to know the name of the bank, give your mobile number or e-mail ID as I cannot disclose this information over phone. I am bound not to disclose the details.
Girl: Okay.
She disconnects the call.
Third caller:
Girl: Hello Sir, I am Pooja calling from …
Me: (interrupting her) Hang on for a moment ... (taking my time) ...Okay let's play "Kaun Banega Crorepati" with... sorry, I forgot your name?
Girl: Sorry …
Me: What's your name, Madam? Am I speaking in an alien language?
Girl: Pooja
Me: Audience, we have Pooja on our hot seat. Let's play "Kaun Banega Crorepati" with Pooja. (of course, mimicking Big B's accent)
Here is the first question to Pooja for 1,000 rupees on your computer screen. (adding standard KBC music)
Which bank you are calling from? a) ICICI (b) HDFC (c) Deutsche (d) Others
Girl: Funny (light laugh)...Okay, I am calling from HDFC.
Me: Computer, please lock (b) HDFC …And yes (b) HDFC is the right answer. You have won 1,000 rupees!
Girl: Sir, are you interested in ... (again interruption by me)
Me: (my own voice) Aren't you enjoying it? I think YES (switching back to Big B voice again) Ready for another question? And here goes the second question for 2,000 rupees on your computer screen. What is the reason behind your call to me?
(a) Credit/debit card (b) Home loan/personal loan (c) Mutual fund (d) Others
Girl: Okay, it's enough. Are you interested in free Gold Credit Card offered by us?
Me: Oh no, wrong answer. Sorry Poojaji, I already have credit card from ICICI. I have been telling the participants that whenever you have doubt in mind, go for the life lines. And you have not used any of your life lines. What a pity!
She hangs up. (as expected)
If you are already following my examples, then you are welcome to share your experiences and ideas. Otherwise try it once – it's certainly worth a try.
6.5.07
see the world after death
Do you wanna 'see' the 'world' after death?
If Yes, Scroll down...
>>> Scroll Down Futher
>>> A Little Further
DONATE YOUR ‘EYES’!!
27.4.07
cricket Coincidence ?
> Hi
> Please note the following co-incidence:
Year 1981
1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the Ashes
4. Pope Died
5. A year later (1982) Italy won the Football worldcup
6. A year later India won the cricket world Cup!!!
Year 2005
1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the Ashes
4. Pope Died
5. A year later (2006) Italy won the Football worldcup
6. A year later will India win the world Cup?????
What do you think? Let me know!!!
16.10.06
women understanding by god
A man walking along a beach was deep in prayer.
Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish. The man said, Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want.
The Lord said, Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources.
I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me.
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing?s wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.
The Lord replied, You want two lanes or four on that bridge ???
12.10.06
The Best Out-Of-Office E-Mail Auto-Replies
The Best "Out-Of-Office" E-Mail Auto-Replies
1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.
2: I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.
3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management
5: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
6: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
7: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.'
(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).
8: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
9: Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
10: Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages.
11: I've run away to join a different circus.
AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE:
12: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons.
When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of 'Steve'
9.10.06
List of some funny responses from Unix when you miss-enter appropriate
List of some "funny" responses from Unix when you miss-enter "appropriate"
$ cat "food in cans"
cat: can't open food in cans
$ nice man woman
No manual entry for woman.
$ rm God
rm: God nonexistent
$ ar t God
ar: God does not exist
$ ar r God
ar: creating God
$ make love
Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.
$ sleep with me
bad character
$ got a light?
No match.
$ man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.
16.7.06
Question to George Bush
George Bush goes to a school George Bush goes to a primary school to give a speech.
After his talk he offers question time.One little boy puts up his hand and George
asks him what his name is.
Bob .
And what is your question, Bob??
Bob : I have 3 questions.
1) Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
2) Why are you President when Kerry got more votes?
3) What happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will
continue after recess.When they resume George says, OK, where were we ? Oh thats right ? question time. Who has a question?
A different little boy puts up his hand .
George points him out and asks him what his name is.
Steve
And what is your question, Steve?
Steve : I have 5 questions.
1) Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
2) Why are you President when Kerry got more votes?
3) What happened to Osama Bin Laden?
4) Why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?
5) Where is Bob???
| ಚಂದನ ಎಂ.ಎ. |
20.2.06
6.2.06
GRE Student vs Normal Person
GRE Student vs Normal Person
NORMAL PERSON : People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
GRE STUDENT : Individuals who make their abodes in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting perilous projectiles.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Twinkle, twinkle, little star
GRE STUDENT : Scintillate, scintillate, asteroid minim.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : All that glitters is not gold.
GRE STUDENT: All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Beggars are not choosers
GRE STUDENT : Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Dead men tell no tales
GRE STUDENT : Male cadavers are incapable of rendering any testimony.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Beginner's luck
GRE STUDENT : Neophyte's serendipity.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : A rolling stone gathers no moss
GRE STUDENT : A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of small, green, biophytic plant.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Birds of a feather flock together
GRE STUDENT: Members of an avian species of identical plumage tend to congregate.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Beauty is only skin deep
GRE STUDENT : Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Cleanliness is godliness
GRE STUDENT : Freedom from incrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : There's no use crying over spilt milk
GRE STUDENT : It is fruitless to become lachrymose of precipitately departed lactile fluid.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : You can't try to teach an old dog new tricks
GRE STUDENT : It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with innovative maneuvers.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Look before you leap
GRE STUDENT : Surveillance should precede saltation.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : He who laughs last, laughs best
GRE STUDENT : The person presenting the ultimate cachinnation possesses thereby the optimal cachinnation.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
GRE STUDENT : Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores without interludes of hedonistic diversion renders Jack a hebetudinous fellow.
*******************************************************
NORMAL PERSON : Where there's smoke, there's fire!
GRE STUDENT : Where there are visible vapours having their provenance in ignited carbonaceous materials, there is conflagration.
| ಚಂದನ ಎಂ. ಎ. |
19.1.06
two Cricket Tickets
TWO great tickets
A man had two great tickets for the World Cup Final. As he sits down,another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.
"No," he says. "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible!" said the man. "Who in their right mind would
have a seat like this for the best game of World Cup, and not use it?"
He says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven't been to together since we got married."
"Oh I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else... a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head... "No. They're all at her funeral."